Redirect...

If you're an adoptive parent, please read this article from an adoptee.

Your child may grow up to be a lot like me (and that's not such an awful thing)

Fourth Best

Where's she from?
Taiwan, I say, leery of what's coming next.
She's SO lucky.

Sigh. I hear this entirely too frequently. And I KNOW people mean well. But really...IS she lucky?? Did she ask to be relinquished? Did she asked to be ripped from her foster mother after seven months and whisked away to a completely foreign land? Did she ask to be raised by white parents who know nothing about being Asian? No...she didn't.

I'd be doing all of my children a disservice if I didn't recognize that not only are they NOT lucky, but they landed in fourth best. First would have been birthfamily. Second would have been a family in their birth country. Third would've been an Asian family in another country. Fourth is us. Fourth.

Of course, I love my children and will always give them everything they need and deserve. But it is also my duty to educate those around me. My children were not saved, have no responsibility to feel grateful, and do NOT deserve to hear that they are "lucky" every time we're in public. We've come so far, yet we have so far left to go.