Friday, August 27, 2010


You might notice a few changes around here...first off, my blog list is changing. I'm adding many new blogs and dropping a few old ones. The new ones reflect my changing interests in adoption, mainly adoption ethics, adoptee voices, and transracial adoption.

In addition, I'm changing up some of terms I used to use. We will no longer celebrate "gotcha day" in our home. The term is a bit offensive, our children aren't things to be gathered and kept (gotten), after all. So, now we'll celebrate Jacob's Day, Sara's Day and Tessa's day.

I am an adoptive mom work in progress. I am always reading and learning and trying my hardest to do everything I can to be the best mom I can to my three amazing kids. I'm currently reading, "Outsiders Within, Writing on Transracial Adoption." And, I just finished, "Inside Transracial Adoption." Both books are very good, and if you're a transracial adoptive parent, I urge you to read these books.

I have so much more to learn, but I feel like I have come a long way. I have learned a lot from my social work classes and other blogs from adoptive parents and transracial adoptees. I will continue to read, read, read and absorb all I can. I owe it to my kids.


Sarah said...

I have been making a similar journey along the last year, and I've noticed your comments on at least two of the adoptee blogs that I read but rarely comment on. Sometimes I'm a little afraid to comment because of the backlash that adoptive parents can get. We were calling the day that we met Hannah "family day" as that's when our families (Taiwan family and adoptive family) all met, but once we have a second child "Hannah day" is much more appropriate. Looking forward to checking out the links of what you are reading these days.

michele said...

Michelle, I would love to hear more. I should check these books out. Thanks for sharing. Hope all is well. Come visit with Lori sometime!!!

HollyMarie said...

You know we are on similar paths, doing as much as we can and becoming as educated as we can to be the best parents for our children. I'm always here for a chat. :)

Lisa said...

Oh, I don't like and never have used the term "Gotcha" ~ its just not a good fit for our family.

Like Sarah, we use the term "Family Day" and once L become old enough, we allowed her to shape how our day was spent. Presents, cake, etc. just never seemed well suited to us. The past few years we have incorporated a significant Kaz. holiday into our day and we generally spend it doing something together reflective of Lauren's passions such as picking up litter at a favorite park or building and hanging a birdhouse.

For Tyler we await to see how he wishes to acknowledge the day. Of we rejoice privately and LOVE peeking back at journals, Lifebooks, video, etc.

I love your blog changes and agree that as Adoptive Mamas/families we need to always seek diverse voices and experiences from the adoptive community (all sides of it) and remain nonjudgemental(or as nonjudgemental as one's perfect!!!). Only in that way can we ensure that our children will always feel confident in coming to us with any issue and once shared, feel validated and valued.

I wish you much luck on your journey and thanks for the book tips ~ I have read one of them and will look for the other!

Mei Ling said...

Outsiders Within is really complex. I didn't even realize how much of the foster care economic situation was misinterpreted through the media!

But I really liked the analogy of the cancer patients. That struck home in a different way.

I was more at ease with Language of Blood.

Michelle said...

Mei Ling...Outsiders IS really complex. I'm almost done with it, and I'm having a hard time with it.

I'll look up Language of Blood...thanks!

Katie said...

I still love following the families stories and seeing the kiddo's we waited so long for, but also find myself reading different blogs as time permits.

Thanks for sharing the book suggestions. We celebrate "family day". Still thinking on what "birth mom" designation feels right to me...